THOUGHTS GONE WILD

I wish i could be him on my hangover morning

Writing had never been my passion nor today is. It’s just been like my prescribed psychological dose (meditation) for clearing my unusual brainwashing thoughts. I know deep inside, I would hate writing till my death because of its sharp, tall barrier like that of between heaven and hell, depriving me to enjoy the skeptical happiness that I always create in my mind. Else what I would be doing in the coffee shop penning my unsatisfied thoughts straight after a heavy niteout while my friends still on sleep blabbering to give them more tequila shots , VAT 69 , black label( drinks ). When I left our double bed hotel suite, my friends were still sleeping, with position like that of Cockroach pose; Usan bolt poses. It stretched my smile. Later I couldn’t figure out what that smile was for. Was it for my self-grievance that I couldn’t sleep like my friends or was I laughing at their innocence? I was confused. More than that, I was angry at myself for thinking so deeply.

Right now what‘s making me have Goosebumps? What’s compelling me to express my thoughts with a sip of strong black coffee to get me over the last night hangover? I really don’t know. Now I’m converting my words to express my vision about Kathmandu, its people and its state we have turned it into. I hail from the outskirt of valley but nothing matters as I’m perfectly breed Nepalese temporarily residing abroad. I ain’t being an innocent fool to pen the impossible demand (literally all demands of Nepalese are impossible) nor am I trying to compare my country with the century ahead western nation with its elegance and superiority. I’m just acknowledging where we and our nation stand and trying to dig out the reason which made us and our leaders stoop so low that there is no further to stoop. The thoughts going on my head is nerve wrecking. Finally, I blabber “my country is in a mess”. It’s in a real confused state where “every possible thing is impossible and every impossible thing is possible” statement comes to practice. I would leave this self-invented statement on you to dig out what it actually stands for.

"If your body wants to have luxury then 
your mind need to have right attitude to park to a right place"

I can’t figure out the point to describe about my capital city. Should I start praising about its cultural beauty which we have turned into public toilets, camouflaged and concealed with our dirts and commercial graffiti where nature has helped us to conceal more by growing grass and weeds? Or Should I start with our wild habit of parking our millions rupees worth car in the clearly stated ‘No PARKING ZONE’? Wouldn’t be that a funny and shocking joke cracking in a foreign country? How about our national securities, traffic police who tries to blackmail incompetent driver with the brutality and coldness of Hanuman Dhoka For a note of RS 500. Even though that’s quite embarrassing I won’t completely blame them as we all do have our share. Honestly, don’t we? I’m not blaming the whole force but to those who will blush leaving red ears after reading my writing. The imbalance on their salary to the soaring market price is equally responsible for this. As I’m one of the sons of the civil servant I do know that the desire of a son of a civil servant doesn’t vary from that of son of minister or other high earning people.

These Neons light tends to camouflage every things going on
when your body is outta mind's control

How about the night life and the rules made to control the semi porno lifestyles of Thamel and various places of Kathmandu? Even though the government denies confessing thamel as the red light area, I see no difference between thamel and the Red light area of Europe? It might infuriate many of the Nepalese people (including me) but even a mere child can tell what those flirty woman/girls are trying to sell? It’s just we are pretending to be blind. We are trying to pronounce our self ‘sacred’ with bloods all over our hands. The Nepalese government’s policy to control / ban over the night life of Kathmandu seems no more than fragile, delicate cocoon to fool people. Else what would I be doing at Central Thamel bar till 3 am lying half unconscious? Or does our government imply two different policies to different hotels and bar about the closing time? What we are trying to do is trying to ban the chocoholic kid not to grab a chocolate placing a bundle of chocolate in front of him.

I was searching for a reason to them but couldn't find one

We boast of our nation’s not having a single red light area but I doubt if beholds the truth. Else what those women and girls doing at outside thamel discos and durbar square? When policemen and taxi drivers stand as an eyewitness about their bargain with their customers. We are pretending to hate sex while we are self-addicted to it. Else why would there be people dancing in a bar till 3 am bargaining about what amount or which hotel to go after the dance. We tend to hate sex while the reality is we can’t resist it but still tend to play innocent. We want privileges but without a change. That’s our foolishness.

Another evening, we were passing the library to thamel while self-proclaimed ‘third gender’ group shouted to us ‘yo dai ko kasto sexy chak?’ (What a sexy bum?” We were shocked and blushing. Our minds were confused either to say “thanks “or go violent against them. But what catalyzed my fury was those policemen with them, who voiced to laugh. If someone can invent the gender the god hadn’t in mind, why don’t they have the brain to act appropriately with the third person? May be they used their brain more than Einstein to discover their gender rather than to learn these simple things called ‘moral’.

when you are scared even your mind fails to command
right thing"Quick Been QUCK"

My writing been quite long but our story doesn’t end here. But we do have positive changes as well. It’s just that the uneven ratio of negative to positive changes makes me worried. Respect to work is one of the changes I could see in my country. Self-independent in Nepalese youth is really praiseworthy. Their part time work with college is something to notice.

At last, sorry to the girl with that innocent face as I couldn’t understand your signal and the gorgeous lady on a red cocktail dress….. You were too beautiful for me ….!!!! As I can’t shine like you during the night and couldn’t be your night king.

 Ambo! My coffee has gone cold. Let me take my last gulp.

Bless me

Takeshi